i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize