I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize