went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Randomize
