I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize