Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
