if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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