david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
