I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
