Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I am one with the molecules
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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