Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
