I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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