I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
