Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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