If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
