i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
