guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
