You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
