$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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