wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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