It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
In other news, I just burned my penis
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
