Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
