I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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