My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize