he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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