Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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