Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
