this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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