This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
