i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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