you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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