I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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