I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
