How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
