Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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