My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
