spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
