She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize