Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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