I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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