We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
