Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
