His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
