My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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