So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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