She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
