I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
