u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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