I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
