We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
