Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Who died my cat blue again?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize