i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize