bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm going to jail i love you
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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