i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
