I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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