Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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