does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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