My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
