So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
