Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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