I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
