as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
