I am spending my child support on dildos
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
