Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
