I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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